Around Mother’s Day, I see all kinds of nice little sayings about mothers on Facebook or blog posts about how wonderful mothers are. I don’t know if it is only me, but it seems to not be reciprocated for all the fathers out there.  So I thought I would share the importance of fathers.

It seems like fathers often get the short end of the stick as far as credit for parenting goes. Most of the time we hear things like, “Oh Dad is babysitting the kids today.” Or “Let’s see how much trouble the family gets into while mom is away.”  The stigma that is often put on fatherhood confuses me. When Ray is out with our kids, he often gets comments like, “Wow, way to go for getting out with all those kids,” or  “Oh My you are so brave.”  (No one has ever called me brave while I am wandering around Target with all four kids… just saying.) It just seems like everyone is shocked when dads take over and participate in parenting.
Moms give great hugs and snuggles but there is something safe and comforting about a hug from your dad.
Well, let me tell you — I just don’t think fatherhood should be looked at that way. Dads are just as remarkable and just as deserving of our praise as moms are. It’s a full time job just like being a mother. There are definitely some differences.  There is the initial physical aspect to carrying a baby. Sure, that’s all on us mothers. A mother’s body goes through a lot to bring a child into this world. There is not the same physical pain for fathers, but they have to be just as strong. I could not imagine watching my husband go through what I went through with fertility meds and then finally pregnancy and delivery. I would have been a mess if our roles were changed. If he was the one with pre-eclampsia or the one whose blood pressure tanked on the operating table, I don’t know how I would have handled it.  He, like so many other fathers, was my rock during all we went through to have our children. He was a father long before our kids ever took their first breaths.

My parents took this picture and I am just in awe of him. Not only did he have to leave his unconscious spouse on the operating table with some scary blood pressure issues, but he also had to make all decisions for the well being of our children for the next four hours before I recovered.

In those early days of parenthood, we were both learning who we were as parents and who these little people were that were now a part of our lives. I might have known a little more about basic baby care like changing diapers because I had been around my nephews and niece, but he jumped right in and started learning.

Ray has always been very active in our kids’ lives.  He is hands on and involved all the time.  He takes time off for school activity days, he rearranges his schedule for performances and events, he is always there when the kids need him. They wait by his office door for him to get off of work so they can have some daddy play time, and he never lets them down.  He is right there for a wrestling session or a bike ride around the block.

Just another afternoon slippin’ and slidin’ with dad.
Ray and I, like so many other parents, are partners in this.  We are not exactly the same.  He parents differently than I do.  He might prepare different meals than I would.  He might read stories differently than I do.  He might do bath time and bed time differently and that’s OK.  So many of the dads I have talked to and become friends with have said they often felt like the moms did everything right and they were just bumbling along.  I have told them and Ray that it simply isn’t true.  The way mom does it might be different, but it doesn’t make it better or right.  Our kids love and need our variety.

He is the relaxed easy going one.

As a parent myself I have a new appreciation for my own father. I wish I could scream it from the roof tops. DADS ARE AWESOME!!!  I grew up with an involved dad who inspired my career as a teacher. He taught me how to live a good life.  He taught me how to have faith.  He taught me how to be a responsible person, and now he is helping me become a better parent.

As I think about this coming Sunday, I can’t imagine how anything I could do could thank the men in my life for all they have done for me and my children. I cannot express how much my own father means to me. I cannot imagine my kids having a better man in their life than Ray. I can plan a nice day and make their favorite foods, I can buy them presents and we can spend a fun day together, but it just doesn’t seem to do them justice.

Fathers play an amazing role in their children’s lives.  They don’t just babysit while mom is away.  They don’t mess up or do things wrong all the time.  Dads parent their children.  I would not be the same person without my father and my kids are lucky to have Ray.

So this weekend remind them how fantastic they are.  Remind them that being a father is a crazy hard job and that they are rock stars!