When my oldest son James started school this year and we really had to start pushing him to write more, we noticed a few things that lead us to our first optometrist visit. First, he was slightly behind where he should be for letter recognition and writing. Second he put his face very close to his papers when he was writing, coloring or reading books. The final push was that he started complaining of headaches. At first we weren’t sure if he was really having headaches or just saying he was because Ray gets migraines from time to time and he was going through a particularly nasty spell at the time as well.  But in the end we gave him the benefit of the doubt and took him in to see my optometrist.

Ray took him to his first appointment. He said James did really well except the pictures they used were so old (biggest problem was a rotary phone), James couldn’t recognize them and didn’t know how to answer some of the questions. His diagnosis was that he did in fact have an astigmatism. The optometrist said he doesn’t usually recommend glasses for kids under first grade unless it’s a big problem, but if it seemed to get worse or he got headaches, we should come back and get him a pair. He also said that since I hadn’t gotten glasses until I was a bit older, we probably had time before it became necessary.

When Ray came home and told me about the appointment, I reminded him that James had been getting headaches which he completely forgot to tell the optometrist. When asked about James’ mother’s eye history, he responded that I got glasses when I was in middle school. I am pretty sure I made a silly face at him because he said, “What? Wasn’t it in middle school?” I simply replied yes I got glasses in middle school, but that’s not going to matter when we are talking about James’ genetic predisposition to needing glasses at an early age. I know Ray felt so silly. It is easy to forget that when you are giving medical histories for an adopted child that our own history is not what is needed. Because of some of the misinformation that was given to the optometrist, his recommendation didn’t sit that well with me.  With James starting school and having such a hard time keeping up, I was worried that his eyes would get worse and that we weren’t being very proactive about helping him. I kept a close eye on him for a few weeks to see how he was doing when we were working or coloring together, and took note if he said he had any headaches.

I had his 5 year old physical with our normal pediatrician about a month later and I talked to him about the optometrist’s recommendations and where James was at with his letter recognition and writing. His doctor said that it was silly to wait. If he was having trouble seeing, he saw no reason to wait except that preschoolers don’t have a lot of responsibility when it comes to glasses or other expensive items. They don’t understand the value of money yet and they can be very hard on glasses. I was very happy he said that because it was how I was feeling for several weeks, but I didn’t know if I was just being an overprotective worrying mom (which I have a tendency to be sometimes).

I went home and we set up an appointment to have James fitted for frames. Ray and I started thinking about how many pairs of glasses we were going to have to buy in the next few months while he wrestled around and forgot about them. Let’s just say James is a very active little guy and not always that attentive to his surroundings. I just knew he was going to lose, break, or scratch them the very first day. But I still felt strongly that it needed to be done and it was the best choice.

Ray and I both took him back to the optometrist to pick out a pair of glasses. He was a little shy at first and didn’t want to talk to the office staff, but we tried on a few pair. I couldn’t help but smile a little; he just looked so darn cute. We were mostly looking at light weight metal frames with plastic lenses.  The frames for kids also have flexible springs at the hinges to prevent breaking or bending. I finally saw a little gleam in his eyes as he picked up a red pair of Converse frames. I asked him what he thought and he excitedly said, “Yes, they are Captain America glasses. These are good.”  I hadn’t even thought about the fact that Converse had a star in a circle as their emblem, and there it was right on the side of the glasses just like the star on Captain America’s shield and shirt.  He was hooked!

One pair of red Converse “Captain America” glasses and we have one happy boy.
His glasses needed to be made so we would have to return in a week to pick them up.  During that week we really tried to talk up his glasses and how fun it would be. We told him he could be just like mommy and we would both have glasses. He wanted to know why I didn’t pick super hero glasses and I said I guess I wasn’t lucky like him. I just had plain old black glasses. We talked to him a bit about wearing them to school and being careful with them. By the time we went to pick them up he was pretty excited about getting his new glasses, but I was still nervous about how many pairs my crazy little guy would go through. When we picked up his glasses we also picked up his prescription so that we could find cheap replacements if we needed them. 

That night he said “Mommy lets take a picture since I am just like you!” How could I resist? So here is our blurry grainy iPhone picture that I will treasure forever.
For the first few days we didn’t force him to wear them all the time.  I didn’t want to make him feel like it was a punishment or something that he didn’t like.  We would give him his glasses in the morning and when he wanted to take them off, we would let him for about 10-20 minutes then ask if he wanted them back.  He usually took them and put them back on with no problem.  At school the first few weeks the teachers let him put them in his cubby when he didn’t want them and I usually found them in there when I came to pick him up.  After a few weeks I think he really adjusted to having them on.  He will even remind me in the morning and tells me he sees better when he wears them. It was a surprising easy transition for him. 

My handsome guy showing off his new glasses
We did have to come up with a few rules for him to follow.  We try to keep it simple so he can stick to them. 

1. Do not wrestle while wearing your glasses!  I think this is one of the most important ones for my little guy and the hardest for him to follow.  He just forgets and he and his brothers will get into a wrestling match.  It’s usually when they get knocked off his face that he remembers and calls out, “Wait I have my glasses on!”

2. Do not put them on the floor.  I would think this is pretty obvious but to a 5 year old who likes to put everything on the floor it was not.  We had to specifically tell him not to. We have a few designated areas that he knows he can put them where they will be safe.

3. Do not let other people wear your glasses.  In his life so far the only type of glasses he has had have been cheap sunglasses and it didn’t matter who put them on. We had to explain to him that his glasses are special for his eyes and no one else has the same eyes. I used my glasses to show him the difference.  I let him look through mine and then his to see the difference and tried to tell him that his glasses could make other people’s vision blurry just like mine made his look funny. He seemed to understand and was not a fan of looking through my lenses. He laughed and said my glasses make things wibbly wobbly.

4. Do not bend or twist the frames.  Sometimes he takes them off and (for lack of a better term) futzes with them. He will bend them out and bend the springs or twirl them around by one ear piece. We had to be clear that doing that could break them and the next time we might not be able to find super cool Captain America frames.

He hardly even notices them anymore; they are just a natural part of his day.
It has been a few months and he has done great.  I thought this could be a very expensive endeavor with us replacing frames every few weeks but he has really surprised me.  He likes his glasses and wears them all day now with no trouble.  In fact another little boy in his glass recently got glasses and he was so excited to be able to tell his friend all about getting glasses and how fun it is.  He has also shown a great improvement in his letter and writing.  I don’t know if that is partly because of the glasses, his age, or more practice but we have seen improvements so I have no regrets about going forward with the glasses.