5 years ago I found out that I was going to be a mom to a beautiful little boy. He would be born in a month and if all went well, he would be a part of my family. I quit my job and dreamed of the time I would spend with him. Once I had him in my arms, I admired every inch of him. I kissed his cheeks and snuggled with him. I even enjoyed our night time feedings when it was just him and me in our living room. I thought it was fantastic, but our time together was short lived. When he was two months old, I found out that I was 6 weeks pregnant with twins. At that moment things changed for us. I wasn't just him and me. It was all four of us together.
Once the twins were born it was my three boys and me. We were always together. I often wondered if my oldest James would feel cheated. Most little boys don’t become a big brother at 8.5 months. He didn't have two or three years like other older siblings have. I often talked myself down by reminding myself that he didn't know any different. He only knew what it is like to have two brothers. They were my three little guys.
My Three Musketeers
Then two years later we added my little girl into the mix. Now during the day it was 4 to 1. Since Lilly was the newborn, she took up a great deal of my time. I found myself often telling them, “Sister has to eat and then we will play.” Or “I will be right there, sister needs me.” I tried my best to handle it all, but there were times that they were hurting for some attention.
And then there were four.
Every time Ray and I talked about one on one time, it usually ended up with him taking one boy for something. It was usually Ray taking a boy to the grocery store or for a hair cut. While Lilly was nursing it was the obvious choice. Lilly had to be with me so Ray would take one boy and spend some time with them. I was OK with that for a while, but once my boys started school this August I realized I missed them. I wanted to have some time for each of them. As Ray and I talked about it, we realized that I had never really had any time with each kid. I had those sweet few months with James, but that was five years ago. So we have decided to be much more deliberate with our time with our kids.
While I was trying to figure out how to manage our time, my dad told me he would watch the other kids and I could take each child to Disneyland for the day. That’s a big commitment from my dad that I appreciate so much. Not many grandpas would watch three kids all day for four days. He is AWESOME! I let the kids know our plans and they were over the moon. At the time the twins were going to school three days a week, so I decided to take them on their off days. Our passes were expiring so I only had one week. That’s right… 7 days and four trips to Disneyland. Let’s just say I was exhausted by the end, but I loved every minute of it.
When I got the chance to have time with just one kid, they were free to be themselves. We went from opening to closing each day and they were thrilled. They were shocked when I allowed them to pick what we did all day long. Each boy is such an individual, and it sometimes gets lost in the mix of a large family.
My day with Joe was fantastic. He wanted to wear his tie dyed Mickey shirt and he wanted me to match him. So of course off to Disneyland we went with our matching shirts. He knew exactly what he wanted to do all day long. I got to see little pieces of his heart all day long. He wanted to hold my hand on Star Tours so I wouldn't get scared. He wanted to get a dessert at lunch so he could share with me (as long as he got the chocolate Mickey on top of course). He wanted to make sure we went on It’s a Small World because it’s one of my favorites. His sweet nature never ceases to amaze me.
His smile melts my heart
My day with Nick was full of jokes and laughs. He is a silly little guy who likes to laugh. Whenever we were standing in a line, he would do a silly dance or tell a silly joke. We would run from ride to ride making sure we got on everything he wanted to. There was no down time. He didn't even want to stop for dinner and we ended up getting popcorn for the ride home. I know… parenting prize of the year, but hey what’s a dinner of popcorn every now and then going to hurt? Although he was having a great time, he was constantly talking about what his brothers were doing and what he was going to tell them about when he got home.
My little goofball
I felt my day with my oldest James was extremely important for us. I’m not sure why, but I have the most difficulty reaching James. He is a quiet kid who doesn't talk much. He is always thinking but it’s hard to draw him out of his shell. His day was all about celebrating that he is the big brother. He wanted to do new things that we had never done. We went on The Tower of Terror for the first time, which is a big deal for a little guy like him. We also went on the Bear Canyon River ride for the first time. He was so excited to see mommy get soaked. I felt a little sad because all day he kept saying he was ready to go home. But when I asked him what ride he wanted to go on, he would pick “just one more” until Disneyland closed. When we were in the car he told me he wanted to go home because he missed his brothers all day. He did add that he had a good day and wanted to do it tomorrow. He is a hard kid to read sometimes so I loved having a day with just him where he could be himself.
My big boy
Lilly’s day ended up being a mother-daughter day with my mom as well. We had a great day going around and meeting princesses and riding on It’s a Small World. Lilly often gets dragged around by her brothers and doesn't get to have much say in what we do. But she is a lady with an opinion and she got a day to explore Disneyland all by herself. It was awesome having my mom along and I didn't feel like I lost time with Lilly. While she napped, we got to walk around and shop and talk. It seems like even at 32, one on one time with my mom is still special. That is certainly a good reminder of how important it is to my own kids.
Everyone needs their mom.
These were big days and obviously I can’t do that all the time. (My feet can’t handle that much Disneyland on a regular basis!) But we have been trying to incorporate more individual time for each kid. I know in a family of six it is easy to get lost in the pack. I want to make memories for my little ones and I want them to have special time with each of us. For now we have been letting one kid go with Ray each night to walk the dog while I bathe the other three. When they get back, they get to take a bath alone and have some time with me. It’s been working well and those few moments I have with each of them is so valuable I wouldn't trade it for the world.
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