Trying to find a good kindergarten in LA

I wrote last time about our school struggles, that ended with all three boys being in preschool together.  It was not our ideal plan (I don’t even want to talk about the finances of tuition for three kids in preschool in Los Angeles…it is ridiculous) but we are making it work and our boys are doing great.  When we got them all settled I took some deep breaths and tried to relax, but I had this looming dark cloud in my mind. At the end of this school year what will we do?

After a few weeks I started looking into all the options in our area and the information is overwhelming. Our district has over 900 schools and 187 public charters.  It used to be so simple -- you either went to your local public school or you paid for private school.  Now in the public school system there are so many options, but none of them are easy to get into because there is a huge demand for the higher performing schools. I have struggled the last few years. I was a product of this school district (and to be honest I think I turned out OK). I was a teacher in this school district. I know there are awesome teachers (some of whom are friends and past colleagues) in all of these schools, but can I risk sending my kids to a school that I don’t feel confident about? It has been torture on my brain and my heart.

So here is some of my research, my thought process and what our current plans are for the coming school year.

P R I V A T E

First we decided that we cannot keep all four kids in private school for the reminder of their education. We simply can’t afford it. We also think that there are enough good teachers and good schools that we can navigate our way through the public school systems. We are looking forward to the day we can stop paying preschool tuition and start saving for their college fund.

H O M E S C H O O L

Second we decided that homeschooling is a possibility, but not one that I think would be the best. I think the twins would be OK homeschooling, but James would have some difficulties.  He gets irritated with me very easily when he gets frustrated. I don’t know if it's because he is with me all the time or what, but he hates taking directions from me in an academic setting.  When I have tried to work with him on writing or reading he just yells at me, but a minute later my mom will walk in and he will ask her to help him write his name.  This used to absolutely drive me nuts! I thought why the heck can’t I teach my son? I am a teacher I should be able to teach anyone. But not my James; he has shown me that on countless occasions.  He will learn so much better from someone other than from me. In the back of my mind there are possibilities if it’s needed.  He can work with my dad or I can pay someone to come and do his homeschooling.  Like I said before, this is a possibility but not top on the list.

P U B L I C

Third we had to start looking into our public school system and finding out what our options are.  This is where it gets very complicated.  There are so many options and opportunities that it is both exciting and overwhelming.  Here are the different options for public schools in our area and how we narrowed it down to what we are aiming for next year.

Neighborhood school:  This is the school that is open to everyone living within a given area.  If you have proof you live in that area (usually with a utility bill in your name) you can go to that school.  In our case this is where we started James last year.  I don’t think the whole school is broken. I think we had a bad experience with a particular teacher, but that doesn't not make it all bad.  Having said that this school is not on the top of my list, but it is a possibility.

Magnets:  Magnet schools are part of a desegregation program created in the 1970’s.  They were made in order to attract students to a school based on a themed curriculum.  Acceptance is based on a complicated points system. Most parents are told to start applying early so that you can build up points to hopefully get your child into a good middle school or high school  We did apply for the one magnet in our area that has a kindergarten program.  The likelihood that they will get in is relatively low.  When they get into 1^st or 2^nd grade the number of magnet programs available will increase, but it may still be several years before we can get into a program.

Open enrollment:  Around April or May schools will announce if they have any open spots in the coming school year.  Families can apply and then there is a lottery for each school.  This could be a possibility for us, but again the chances are very slim that the schools we would want to send them to would have a lot of open enrollment.  Also I am a planner.  It would drive me mad not knowing until mid summer where my kids are going to go the following year.

Schools for Advanced Studies (SAS):  These are small school communities within a normal neighborhood school.  They are specifically designed for children who have tested as gifted and talented and have proven to have above average grades. Well that right there automatically excludes kindergartens.  They have to be tested and prove their proficiency before being allowed to apply for these communities.  I will be looking into these schools in the future but for I don’t know if our kids would qualify. We will have to see how they do in kindergarten first.

Child care permits:  If both parents are working, they can apply for a child care permit if their home school does not offer before or after school care.  I have been told that these permits can be based on where you are working so that your drop offs and pick ups are based on your work address instead of your home address.  I haven’t looked into them much because we don’t qualify since I am not working.

Charter schools:  In my research I found that there are two types of Charters in my area (as if it wasn't tricky already) -- independent and affiliated. Independent Charters are public schools that have been approved by the state of California but don’t necessarily follow the same requirements that other public schools have.  The do have to prove their standards based curriculum and also typically have some sort of theme or innovative teaching techniques that separate them from an ordinary public school.  Each charter has a public lottery and application.  Each school has its own form and its own deadlines. Affiliated charters are a mixture of the district school and a Charter.  They still follow our district curriculum and requirements, but they are free to set their own budgets.  Looking into each school, its curriculum, its application process and its deadlines has been a very daunting task.

O U R  D E C I S I O N

After looking into all of our options we have decided to pursue some of the Charter schools in our area.  The problem is that they are all lottery based.  We have to put our names in and cross our fingers for the best.  Some of the schools offer sibling preference so that the chances of getting all three boys into the same school are higher, but still not guaranteed. I have been filling out and delivering applications for several weeks trying to make sure I apply to as many as possible. The part that drives me crazy is that once the applications are in, I have absolutely no control and I just have to wait several months to find out our status in the lottery.  It could end up being a mad scramble at the end of the summer, or we could get all three boys into one of our top choices and be completely set.

Last year I went into the school year thinking that I had everything set and had no plan B.  It caused me a great deal of stress and heart ache when our plan was not working.  I also had to scramble last minute to figure out what to do. This year I already have my back up in place and have talked to the boys' teachers to see if they agree with my assessment of my children’s needs. During student conferences their teacher told me that James NEEDS the one on one time that many private schools or charters offer.  He has a low frustration point and gives up if he can’t get it perfect.  He often needs someone to sit with him and help him get started on an assignment and boost his confidence.  Nick and Joe LIKE the one on one attention, but will most likely thrive in any academic situations.  They have a drive to learn and please a teacher without reaching that frustration point.   I knew this all along, but it is good to get an outsider's perspective on them as well and helps to cement our plans for next year.

So plan A is that all three boys get into one of the Charters we applied to.  There may be a chance that one or two boys get into a Charter but not the others and we might have some time where they are not in the same schools.  I am not looking forward to that because it will just be a lot of work, but I will do what it takes to give them the best chance at a positive school experience.  So our plan B is if James doesn’t get in, he will continue Kindergarten at our church school where they are all attending preschool.  If either of the twins don’t get in they should be fine at our home school and I will start again next year with applying to magnets and charters until they all get in.  I feel like even though this is a crazy system to navigate that I am trying my hardest to find the best fit for each of my kids and really that is all that I can hope for.

I never dreamed that kindergarten would be as stressful and confusing as it turned out to be.  I wish that our state and district weren’t so broken and I could send them to the school down the street.  I hope that each decision I make on their behalf will prove to be a wise one in the long run.  It is so hard to look at each child and decide what is best for the education when some of it seems like a trial and error process.  Whatever the next year brings us I am ready to face it head on and make the tough choices that need to be made.

What are your education plans for your kids? Have you ever had to divert from your original plan if it didn’t seem to be working out?

Stressing about school and making hard decisions

We had a bumpy start to our school year in August. I never shared it here because I just couldn’t find the right words to express my concerns. I wasn't sure how to handle some of the struggles we have had with our oldest son and school. I was so nervous about the decisions we were making that I just couldn't openly talk about it. I was so stressed this one day when I was meeting a group of friends, one of them asked how I was and I broke into a huge ugly cry about the whole thing. We had a good laugh later about how such a simple question could unleash all those emotions, but clearly I was struggling with it. Once I got our situation under control I just didn’t want to think about it. I felt like I could finally relax and put it all behind me. Now several months later, all those worries are coming back because I am forced to look forward to the upcoming school year.

At this time last year I thought I had this all figured out. The Los Angeles School District just recently changed its birthday deadline for enrollment from December to September. Our oldest son James was born in November, so he would not meet the deadline for traditional Kindergarten. Our twins were born the following July so with the new regulations, they would all be in the same year. However California schools started a program called Transitional Kindergarten (TK). In theory it was a supposed to be like a public pre-K for all the kids who have birthdays in those later months of the year. They would enroll in TK and turn five that fall, then the following year when they would be turning 6, they would be enrolled in traditional Kindergarten.

Knowing this we started James in preschool the year before and were planning on sending him to our public school down the street for TK. While he was in TK, we would enroll the twins in preschool. Then they would all enter Kindergarten together. (Look out schools... here comes the Turner family trio!) We were very comfortable with our plan and it also helped us from having three preschool enrollments to afford.  Well…you know what they say about the best laid plans right?  We were in for a wild couple weeks that completely changed everything.

We attended the orientation for the James’ new school in August the day before his classes started. I was a little worried about the curriculum (I hate saying this, but I was also worried about the teacher). She said in her introduction that TK is just like Kinder; they learn and do all the same things and then those students who need the second year will enroll in Kinder the following year. Whatever they missed or fell behind on they could pick up the second year. The office staff promised that they had a curriculum planned for all levels from never holding a pencil before to already reading and writing, but the teacher had a different plan. They were to start reading and writing sentences and James still struggled with basic letters.

I have always had concerns about James’ education.  He hits all of his milestones on time but at the very last minute, and usually in big leaps forward instead of a showing a gradual progression.  He has been this way since birth. He is a hard working little guy, but things just don't come that easy to him. I knew this class had the potential to be really hard for him and indeed it was. The next two weeks were a nightmare. He came home in tears every day. He had gigantic tantrums (like the crazy scary kind where you think you are in the middle of a demon possession movie) from the time he got home until we had to put him to bed. Each time we tried to attempt doing his homework with him, it just made it worse. I truly felt helpless. I was a teacher and I couldn't teach my son. I couldn't help him get past his frustrations. I cried every night thinking about how I could help him get over this transition period and start adjusting to the new school, but everything I tried just wasn't working.

One day when I went to pick him up and I had a very unsettling interaction with the teacher where she was very condescending to both James and me.  That day I was in tears for most of the afternoon. This just wasn't working and I truly didn't know what to do. We again tried to attempt homework and James told Ray that he wasn’t smart and he couldn’t do the work. My heart shattered and I knew things had to change. No child should be made to feel this way at any point, but especially not in kindergarten. It is the building block for his relationship with education. I didn't want him to hate school and feel bad about himself. It was the last straw and I knew I would not send him back. He is a sensitive child and he just needed a little more attention and care to get him to shine, and he was not going to get it there.

Luckily the twins' preschool allowed us to enroll James as well. I nervously took all three boys the next day to preschool where all three would be in the one pre-k class. The teacher assured me they would be fine and Nick and Joe took James all around the room so he could meet their friends and see all the toys in the room. I sighed a breath of relief. Maybe this was going to be OK. Maybe James would be OK and get some of his confidence back.

First day with all three at preschool.

Over the last few months James has made huge improvements.  I now can say easily that we made the right choice for him.  He just wasn’t ready for kindergarten yet and the Transitional Kindergarten program wasn’t what we thought it would be. He is thriving in this new environment and the twins are as well. I can tell you that the only thing cuter than having a child perform in a preschool holiday show is having three little guys singing their hearts out on stage.

They never stand still so all I ever get are these blurry iphone pictures, but I will cherish them.

I let myself get comfortable and tried not to worry instantly about the coming year. I just wanted a few months of peace, but it didn't last long. This preschool is all well and good, but we simply can’t do private school forever. That ship sailed when we discovered two little buns in the oven five years ago. So now my stress and worry is back up to a high level as we start making our plans for the upcoming school year. I am trying to figure out what will be best for each boy and find a school that I know they could all thrive at. It seems like these are such big decisions now because it sets them up for the rest of their education, and it is truly weighing on my heart. I, like most moms, want what is best for our kids and our family.  Now I am back at the point where I just don't know what the right choice will be.

Next time I will write about our possible plans for kindergarten and how we are figuring out what is best for our little men.

Have you had tough choices with regards to daycare or school for your kids?  How did you know you were making the right choice?

Not all transitions are Traumatic.

When Lilly turned one (yes over a year ago), I started having this panicky feeling in the back of my mind. At one my twins learned how to climb out of their cribs and into each other’s crib. I blogged about it on hellobee a while back. From there is was just a nightmare of toddler beds and horrendous bedtimes and non existent nap times. I feared going through this again more than anything.  Luckily she held off for a bit. I could see her little mind working on how to get out of her baby prison, but she didn’t even try to get her legs over the side.

At a year and a half I came in to get her after nap time and she had one leg over the side and was laying on the edge of her crib.  I told her that was a no no and she needed to stay in her crib and wait for mommy or she would fall. She immediately plopped back into her crib jumping and smiling saying, “no fall mommy, I wait.” I was shocked.  When I told my boys no and stay in bed, they laughed and jumped out. I tell you one girl is way different than three boys, thank goodness!
A few months passed and she didn’t attempt to get out
again. I can’t tell you how relieved I was. Then one day, a month before she turned two, there was no stopping the inevitable.  She wanted to get out and she wanted to do it herself. Three times in a row she was attempting to climb out and got her leg stuck in the slats when she fell down.  We tried telling her no, but clearly it wasn’t’ going to work this time. It was a Sunday afternoon and I just told Mr. Train that we had to bring the toddler bed.

I sat on the couch and cried. Of course Mr. Train thought it was because my baby girl was meeting one more milestone, marking the inevitable passing of time. (Ok so that may have caused some of the tears… my last baby is not a baby anymore.) But when he asked what was wrong, I simply sobbed, “Do you remember how hard this was?  Do you remember how miserable bed time was? Do you remember how they built slides out of their mattresses and bounced off the furniture like monkeys?”
He just laughed and went about dismantling her crib.  I was terrified.  I was so convinced that it would be a nightmare to get her used to the big girl bed because the boys were so much trouble.

We tried to make it special for her, even though it was a bit spur of the moment.  For the boys we took a day to make their new beds and buy them a new blanket and toy.  Then we surprised them with their new room.  Since Lilly was watching us take down her crib during what should have been her nap time, there really was no surprise.  Instead, we took out a blanket my sister had given us that she had never seen (that counts a new right?). It was a bright pink silky princess blanket so she was super excited. As soon as we put the blanket on the bed, she jumped in bed with her pretend phone and called Grandma to tell her she had a new bed. We also took her to Target to pick out a new dolly to take to bed with her that night in her new big girl bed. She seemed very excited and I tried to keep a positive attitude.

2 going on 13…. it’s a little scary.

That night we changed our routine a bit.  Instead of reading a story on the couch, we took her into her bedroom to read so she could have some time in her room with us.  After stories and a lullaby, we told her to put her head down and stay in bed.  She got up a few times and laughed as she ran back into her room.  Mr. Train said he would put up a baby gate if she came out again.  She did and up the gate went.  She of course threw a gigantic fit about the gate blocking her doorway. Mr. Train explained if she  got in bed and stayed in bed, he would take it down. He stated it so simply as if he were talking to a rational adult instead of a tantrum throwing toddler.  To our surprise she turned the fit off said, “OK daddy” and went back to bed.
That was the end of it.  She sat in bed looking at a book for about 10 minutes, then covered herself up and fell asleep.

Picking out her special new doll for bedtime.

I was dumbfounded to say the least.  I knew this was just a lucky first night and at some point she would make me miserable for months of bed times. That night never came.  She has been a great little girl and taken to her big girl bed quite easily.  There are some nights when she throws a bit of a fit (usually when she is overtired), but then when she calms down she reads to herself for a bit and lays down.  She does like to take every blanket, pillow, doll and stuffed animal that she owns to bed.  If we disturb her little nest, she gets very agitated.  So we wait for her to fall asleep and then uncover her from her mounds of toys so she actually has room on her bed to move a bit.  We came in one night and she was literally covered from neck to feet in stuffed animals and six different blankets.  We could barely see her little face peeking out from under all her friends.

My little sweetheart sleeping soundly.

I am just shocked that this transition was not the traumatizing mess that it was with the boys.  All that worry and stress was for nothing and I admit I feel a little foolish.  She really pleasantly surprised me.  Next event to tackle is potty training (which was also a bit daunting with the three boys). Wish me luck!

How did you transition your little one to a bed?  How did It go?

Olympic activities for the kids

I am so excited for the Olympics to start.  I don’t know what it is, but I have always loved the Olympics since I was a little girl.  I love the sports and all the back stories on the athletes.  I love cheering for our country and hoping that they place.  I just all around love it. During the 2012 Olyimpcs we were traveling and at 2 years old my kids, weren’t all that interested.  This year they have more of an understanding of sports and athletes and I am hoping to share some of my excitement with them.

We just got back from Park City and now I regret not showing them around the Olympic Park there. We have been watching some clips of the various events on the official Olympics website and on Youtube. Apparently my description of the luge and curling was not descriptive enough and they needed to see it in action.  It has helped to raise their awareness and enthusiasm for this world event.

For the opening ceremony and throughout the games, I like to explore the cuisine of the country that is hosting the games. In this case the games are being held in Sochi, Russia. I have to admit I know very little about traditional Russian cuisine.  We are also going to be traveling down to San Diego the day of the opening ceremonies, and I am not sure if I will have full control over our dinner. So for now I am planning on trying to find a fun bread or desert to bring with us, and then make some other dishes throughout the two weeks. I found this website called Ruscuisine which I have been looking through and trying to figure out what I could make. I also looked up recipes on All Recipes and was thinking about trying Beef Stroganoff, Pierogi, sweet cabbage or Chicken kiev

In addition to trying new foods, I want to do some activities that will engage the kids and get them excited.  Also it's a bonus if I can get them to write and practice their letters which we are struggling with a bit at our house.


Arts & Crafts
1. Making an Olympic Torch: This seems like a very easy project and one that can be used for pretend play afterwards. I know my kids will enjoy making them and doing some relays with them in the front yard.

2. Olympic ring toilet paper roll stamps: This is an easy project to set up and I already have everything I need. I know the kids will end up stamping circles all over the paper and not make a perfect Olympic ring picture, but I thought it would be a good activity anyways.  We can discuss the rings and how they came to be the symbol that is used today.

 

3.  Coloring in the flags of some of the participating nations. I simply dd a search for printable flags and found a lot of different sites that have free coloring sheets. I am going to string up the flags we color and make a banner in our living room so we can talk about the different countries represented in the events we might watch on TV.

4. Coloring sheets for winter sports. I don’t know if you can tel,l but my kids love to color. I am probably going to use watercolors for these so that we vary our projects a bit. I am also hoping to help them work on their letters by having them write the names of the different events while we color them in. If I sit down and tell them we are going to work on writing they refuse; if I tell them we are going to learn about skiing and how to spell it, they might pay a little more attention.

Games and activities

1. Toy event competitions. I have seen many websites depicting Olympic sports with various toys. I saw some bobsleds with stuffed animals and little people skiers, but I think my favorite was this Thomas ski jump. I have to admit it might be because the kids love the ski jump so much, or because I am fascinated by the challenge of making this track. Joe has informed me that he is going to be a ski jumper when he grows up. I think that kid has a need for speed.

2. Mini Ice Hockey: I found this activity that is set up for a preschool setting, so I think I need to down scale the size a little bit. I think I am going to freeze a cookie tray for our ice hockey set up and then let the kids play together.

3. Indoor ice skating: This one used wax paper and tape to wrap up the kids feet and let them “skate” around the living room. We have carpet in our living room but I think we could have some fun when we go down to visit with my in laws. I also thought we could put some tissue boxes on their feet and let them slide on the carpet. I am not sure exactly how I am going to execute this one yet, but I know they will have a great time sliding around.

I hope to come up with some more ideas to keep my kids active and involved with the Olympics for the week before and the two weeks they are going on. Now that the boys are in preschool, I find that sometimes I get in a rut of the everyday grind and I think these fun activities are just what we need to liven things up a bit.

Do you do anything special in your house when the Olympics are on?